When I was fourteen years old, I fell soundly, roundly, in love with the most beautiful boy. He had longish, curly hair. He had eyes that should have been commonplace brown, but were mesmerizing because they had these teeny golden flecks in them that danced the light. He had lips that would make Angelina Jolie froth with envy and eyelashes that could double as artists' brushes. (No, I did not spend hours looking at him and daydreaming of him, whatever gives you that impression?) And, naturally.....you have seen this coming I'm sure.....he broke my heart. In so doing, he set the stage for a lifelong suspicion of men who are just too damned good-looking and my ongoing analysis of what constitutes "beauty". I'm grateful to him for teaching me early on that it actually has very little to do with physical attributes. It has everything to do with kindness and graciousness of spirit and a certain openness of soul that invites you in and welcomes you to begin a genuine discourse. I have seen faces, which could be judged by objective aesthetic standards as being rather ordinary, radiate an internal luminescence that metamorphose them into a loveliness that makes me want to look at them again and again. And then I've noticed that compassionate eyes are among the most spectacular things in the universe and make the rest of a face or a body almost invisible. Oftentimes, that which is most exquisite is also so subtle as to be missed by the casual observer. The beauty of some people is like a rare jewel which has to be discovered, and will only ever be, when searched for with a lack of judgement, looking way past what is skin deep. I am also grateful to this long-lost boy for teaching me how to begin to love myself by processing through his rejection, for self-love and confidence are also, I feel, attributes of those who are truly beautiful. I will end here by saying that my aunt more recently saw my teenage love after many, many years. As she began to tell me the story of where and how, I interrupted her, blurting out an impassioned "PLEASE tell me he is now bald and fat and has hairy ears!". "Nope", say she, incredulous...."he is still gorgeous." The little shit. Clearly, karma has loopholes he somehow discovered and found a way to exploit! And now here is a wonderful video that is well worth your time to view, considering what is held to be, and named, "beautiful".
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AuthorI am a field of awareness. Any thing beyond that is identification with form... Archives
June 2020
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