This morning, I find myself reflecting on the propensity we have as humans... to tear apart, to destroy, to deconstruct, to self-destruct and take others down with us in a decidedly unglorious blaze. I ask myself why this is. And I certainly don't have the totality of the answer, but I believe that at least partly it is because we are so afraid. We fear intimacy, we fear exposure of our soft underbellies-our vulnerable places, we fear our very own capacity for greatness because somewhere deep within, we know that this often comes with unavoidable, gut-wrenching pain. The pain of being misunderstood, or belittled or dismissed or betrayed.
The thing is, it appears that a choice will continue to be laid at our feet, for it is the nature of life that it seeks, always, to promote growth and evolution.
Should we choose the safe way, the already-trodden path, then we will approach the blazing fire of self-transformation, from time to time but we never actually go through it: the path meanders around, we get to avoid it and keep our skins! But the trade-off is that we exist more superficially. Our interactions are mostly a barter of services and goods. Based on where the wind blows, we leave as soon as it gets tough or unpleasant, to find new distractions in a futile attempt to stem the dam of our essential loneliness. And we have to keep doing this St. Vitus dance, because nothing and no one ever will remove our longing to belong, on this particular road.
Choosing the path unknown, the one that is unfolding....literally as we garner every ounce of courage and faith we can muster, just to take one...more...baby...step: we will come face to face with the inferno and willingly walk through it. And we do so even while asking ourselves if we are completely insane.
But there seems to come a time when the soul just won't consent to lay low and "keep quiet" any longer, when we want to experience fully the grace and yes, also the pain, of this human existence....more than we want security. We stand our ground-we do the hard things, we face the often ugly rawness in ourselves and others and we forge a way back to wholeness.
The gifts of this path, should we survive the cruxifiction (yeah, survival is not a "given") are a depth of being and an ability to connect in a profound way with others. Our hearts open and the fear becomes a Goddess at whose feet we fell in surrender. We experience human relationships in an entirely new way-not based on need or fickle emotion, but grounded in an authentic love which reveals to us as much of Divine Love as we can understand whilst still bound by the elements, inhabiting these bodies.
As Kermie would say: "It ain't easy being green". And as Rumi would say:“The result of my life is no more than three words: I was raw, I became cooked, I was burnt.” May we have the courage to give to the flames all that we are not. May we have the courage to walk "the road not taken". May we truly meet each other, in our Essence, along the way.
I am a field of awareness. Any thing beyond that is identification with form...