This morning, I find myself reflecting on the propensity we have as humans... to tear apart, to destroy, to deconstruct, to self-destruct and take others down with us in a decidedly unglorious blaze. I ask myself why this is. And I certainly don't have the totality of the answer, but I believe that at least partly it is because we are so afraid. We fear intimacy, we fear exposure of our soft underbellies-our vulnerable places, we fear our very own capacity for greatness because somewhere deep within, we know that this often comes with unavoidable, gut-wrenching pain. The pain of being misunderstood, or belittled or dismissed or betrayed.
The thing is, it appears that a choice will continue to be laid at our feet, for it is the nature of life that it seeks, always, to promote growth and evolution.
Should we choose the safe way, the already-trodden path, then we will approach the blazing fire of self-transformation, from time to time but we never actually go through it: the path meanders around, we get to avoid it and keep our skins! But the trade-off is that we exist more superficially. Our interactions are mostly a barter of services and goods. Based on where the wind blows, we leave as soon as it gets tough or unpleasant, to find new distractions in a futile attempt to stem the dam of our essential loneliness. And we have to keep doing this St. Vitus dance, because nothing and no one ever will remove our longing to belong, on this particular road.
Choosing the path unknown, the one that is unfolding....literally as we garner every ounce of courage and faith we can muster, just to take one...more...baby...step: we will come face to face with the inferno and willingly walk through it. And we do so even while asking ourselves if we are completely insane.
But there seems to come a time when the soul just won't consent to lay low and "keep quiet" any longer, when we want to experience fully the grace and yes, also the pain, of this human existence....more than we want security. We stand our ground-we do the hard things, we face the often ugly rawness in ourselves and others and we forge a way back to wholeness.
The gifts of this path, should we survive the cruxifiction (yeah, survival is not a "given") are a depth of being and an ability to connect in a profound way with others. Our hearts open and the fear becomes a Goddess at whose feet we fell in surrender. We experience human relationships in an entirely new way-not based on need or fickle emotion, but grounded in an authentic love which reveals to us as much of Divine Love as we can understand whilst still bound by the elements, inhabiting these bodies.
As Kermie would say: "It ain't easy being green". And as Rumi would say:“The result of my life is no more than three words: I was raw, I became cooked, I was burnt.” May we have the courage to give to the flames all that we are not. May we have the courage to walk "the road not taken". May we truly meet each other, in our Essence, along the way.
Today marks the start of the 11 day period prior to what would have been the 86th birthday of Yogi Bhajan, my Teacher. August 26th was his Appearance Day. I have been reflecting all day on one of his directives: to become 10 times greater than he was. He was such a powerhouse, that seems an impossible goal. Yet because he set it, my heart says it is indeed possible for all of us, his students...now and into the future. But there is a prerequisite, it appears to me. First we have to remember Who we really Are. That is where the initial work lies. And so here are my thoughts today about this.
"You are precious. In all of creation, there has never been and never again will be, a coming together of sinew and flesh, heart and soul, longing and being, exactly like you.
No other lips will smile exactly like yours. No other face will carve out expressions identical to the ones that flow along yours when you are sad or angry or gleeful or impassioned. No other hands will feel just as yours do when you touch another. No other voice will speak and sing and intone the same as yours. Hear what I am saying-your Voice, both literally and figuratively- is entirely unique across all the worlds, known and unknown.
You were not simply biologically "made" (although the literal miracle of this is beyond wondrous): you were crafted, you were intricately designed, the Breath of Life was kissed into you by a Loving Divine Presence, your very soul was lit by an ember from a Divine Flame.
Your impact in this time and space does not lie in your untrained ego, nor in your accomplishments, nor is it defined by your possessions, your labels, or the facts you can regurgitate. Rather, it lies within the Essence of You, the Universal You, which is connected by invisible energetic waves to everyone and everything, to the very Soul of the World, to the Superconscious Mind... in which all is Known.
And this Connection of Grace is what you must work to remember, not with the lower mind, but with the Heart-using whatever teacher, tool, dharma or philosophy that resonates for you. And if you have outgrown past ones, have the courage to seek others which continue to challenge you and call out the excellence your Deepest Self craves.
Your greatness lies in your Love...how much you can love when it is most difficult. It lies in your commitment to your own Becoming and your desire to serve, in the most appropriate way, all who cross your path…especially when all you want to do is give up and run and hide. It lies in your refusal to be anything but stubbornly joyous, despite the external plays and dramas of life and matter.
Listen now....you have no right.....actually no right....to refuse your greatness. It was placed in You by the Master of the Universe and no mistakes were made.
You did not come here to fill up bank accounts, buy winning stocks and accumulate real estate, endless "stuff" or even the accolades of the world. The day you die, these will become irrelevant. Don't define yourself by them-simply use them and enjoy them and be ready to release them.
Please Find You, See You, Love You , Be You....and then, only then, may you truly love others. This one thing is your mission-the world needs YOU to show up real and let your light shine."
Happy almost-86th birthday, Yogi-ji. Thank you for all you brought to this life of mine.
-Siri Amrita Kaur
I am a field of awareness. Any thing beyond that is identification with form...